


Solstice

by Kerrigore



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, And great friends., Camping, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Jack has The Depression., M/M, Post-Recall, Reaper76 Summer Event Fic, Summer Traditions, Watergun Fights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 14:19:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11465355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kerrigore/pseuds/Kerrigore
Summary: Jack remembers this time of the year fondly, or at least he used to. When he's begrudgingly dragged out to a place full of memories Jack doesn't think anything good could come of it. Turns out he was wrong, and is not only reminded by his friends, but by the person he's missed the most.





	Solstice

 

It was that time of year again: when the days were longer, and twilight was a wash of vibrant, painted colors, of oranges and reds, of the waning glow of yellow; colors that once brought a smile to Jack’s face now only served as a reminder of what was lacking in his life. Of what he’d lost.

It wasn’t something that could be fixed, though others seemed to think so.

The idea wasn’t his.

Jack had been caught reminiscing, lost in memories, in regret, when he’d said something stupid.

Three words he should have kept to himself: “I miss you”.

And Jesse McCree had overheard.

_“You know what day’s coming up Jack?” Jesse said, approaching him from the other side of the common room at Watchpoint Gibraltar._

_Jack briefly debated leaving, but instead pressed himself back into the corner he’d been standing in, arms folded, listless look replaced by a scowl as he broke his staring contest with floor. “No,” he lied._

_Jesse offered him a smile that was meant to be reassuring. The gesture was noted, but easily brushed off. It wasn’t going to do any good. “I think you do.”_

_“Drop it Jesse.” His tone was a warning._

_Jesse persisted anyway. The kid was always stubborn, headstrong. “It’s been awhile since we did anythin’ together that wasn’t fightin’. I reckon everyone here could use the time off.”_

_“There’s no point. We have to be alert, ready for the next Talon attack.”_

_He sighed, lifting the brim of his hat. A heavy hand fell on Jack’s shoulder. “You need the time away from all of this Jack. We’re all worried about you.”_

_“What you have planned isn’t going to help me.” Jack got quieter and he averted his gaze. “Not much will.”_

_“Well, I’ll be damned if I don’t try. Besides, Ana thinks it’s a good idea. Angela too.”_

_Jack scoffed, “Of course they do.”_

_“We’re just trying to look out for you.”_

_“I don’t need your help.” Jack said with a growl. He hadn’t meant to sound so crass, but Jesse didn’t know what he was doing. It was better to just leave him be._

_“See, I reckon that’s where you’re wrong.” He squeezed Jack’s shoulder once before letting go. “I’ll go have a chat with Winston.” Jesse hurried out of the room like his boots were on fire. “You won’t regret it.”_

Jack already was.

He smashed a mosquito, which had made the mistake of landing on his neck, and wished fervently that he had some booze. Unfortunately, Ana had made certain to confiscate everything he’d tried to pack, including his boot flask, so he was left with no way to drown out the sudden rush of feeling at returning to a place he’d never intended to again.

Winston had cleared them — Ana, Jesse, Lucio, Hana, and Lena, who’d brought along Emily — for a camping trip to the Lost Coast in the King’s Range National Conservation Area in Northern California. Back when he was in charge of Overwatch they would try to go every year around the summer solstice. Their trip organizer had been very adamant about it, amongst other things.

_“You need a vacation Jack. C’mon, it’ll be a new tradition.”_

_“I’m too busy to take time off, you know that.”_

_A laugh, warm and rich echoed in his office. It was inescapable and Jack couldn't help but smile.“Please, Jackie, Ana and Reinhardt have been offering to hold down the fort for years so we could relax. We’ll take McCree, Fareeha, a couple of our most overworked and underappreciated agents. It'll be a grand time.”_

_“I really don't think_ _—_ _”_

_“Please. Three days. That's all I'm asking. Don’t make me beg. I'll bring Fareeha in here and we'll make it real pathetic. Are you really going to say no to a little girl?”_

_No, he wouldn’t have. He wasn't going to say no to the man in front of him either. “Fine. Three days.”_

As he walked down a dirt path, surrounded by evergreens and ferns, trailing behind the rest of the group, he found himself putting a hand to his chest, his insides twisting, emptiness filling up with longing. He silently cursed again that he was without something to drink; with enough, he could drown out the feeling, at least for a little while.

Jack sighed, hand dropping to play with a ring that was no longer on his finger, where it should be. Instead he kept it hidden from sight around his neck with the dog tags that weren't his. It wasn’t that he was ashamed; he just tried his best not to wear his heart on his sleeve.

Though, he knew he was doing a lousy job.

Being at the Lost Coast wasn’t the same without the most important part of Jack’s family. But he hadn't been family for a long time, had he?

Jack was shaken from his mind by the two people suddenly at his side. He wasn't aware of how they'd gotten there.

“How are you holding up Commander?”

“Lena,” he said with a sigh, looking to his right, “I'm not your commander anymore. I'm just a soldier.”

“You'll never be ‘just a soldier’ love, not to me,” she said, all smiles.

Jack sighed again.

“Jack…”

“He doesn't have to answer,” Emily said from his left. She was wearing a large pair of sunglasses with green mirror lenses, and Jack couldn't help but stare at his reflection. He looked miserable, that was obvious.

“No, it's alright. Not well.”

He felt Lena and Emily each take one of his hands.

“We know it's not the same without him,” Lena said, “and I can't imagine how hard it was for you to come here.”

“But we're glad you did,” Emily said, squeezing his hand. “Jesse told me a lot about these trips. This'll be my first one; Lena's too. We were pretty excited about coming out here.”

“Were?” Lena exclaimed. “What are you talking about? I still am!”

Emily laughed.

She had a point. Aside from himself, Jesse, and Ana, the others hadn't been out here yet. It wouldn't be fair to spoil their first trip. As much as it was about him, it was about them too.

“We can't replace him,” Lena continued, gravity in her tone that almost seemed misplaced considering how happy she always was. Everyone still believed his husband was dead. Only he and Ana knew who Reaper was. It was better that way. “We're not trying to, but maybe it's best to make some new memories to add on to the years of good ones you've had here?”

“I suppose you’re both right,” he said reluctantly.

“Just try and relax,” Lena said. “C’mon,” she started attempting to drag Jack along, “we’re almost to the campsite Jesse picked out.” Jack let himself be pulled while Emily trailed after them. He couldn't imagine trying to constantly keep up with Lena’s enthusiasm.

The path widened and the foliage was becoming less dense, and as they came to the top of a hill with tall grass on either side Jack found himself stopping. The view was… exactly as he remembered it. The sandy coast spanned out around him, disappearing into the distance, covered by calm waters. A rock formation with a natural bridge jutted out from the shore.

Jack remembered how two figures sat on the end once, shoulder to shoulder, watching the stars and how they danced and lit up the sea. It was the first place he'd been to on the Lost Coast, chosen just for them.

“Gabe…” he said softly.

“You’ll be alright Jack,” Emily said. “We both think so.”

Jack nodded, and watched Lucio and Hana run towards the water, both having dumped their backpacks on the beach and were carrying large water guns. Everyone had worn swim gear to some extent, even Jack who had on trunks, a t-shirt, and hiking boots.

“C’mon Em, let’s go set up the beach towel. Race ya!” Lena said as she zipped forward.

“Seriously! No fair!” Emily chased her girlfriend, and Jack chuckled a bit.

“See, I told you this would be good for you,” Jesse said, leaning a forearm on Jack’s shoulder. “You uh, want to help me set up the tents?” he motioned with a thumb. “You and Gabe were always better at that stuff. Want me to shoot boss? I got it handled. Put up a tent? Never heard of it.”

“I swear we taught you.”

“Doesn't mean I remember.” Jesse grinned wide in a way that made Jack internally call bullshit. Still, he went along with it.

“You got a spot picked out?” Jack asked, folding his arms.

“Was thinkin’ right down there.” Jesse indicated to a part of the beach.

“No. Not on the beach. Solid ground is better for pitching tents. Besides, I'd like to avoid sleeping in sand. Why don't we set up camp further back, off the dunes, closer to the woods?”

“Sounds good to me.”

He and Jesse picked a nice, flat spot on the edge of the woods and silently worked to pitch five tents. Lena and Emily were sharing as we're Hana and Lucio (they'd brought handheld video games and had no expectation of sleep according to Hana). The rest were separate.

“Not bad,” Jesse said, fanning himself with his hat when the last one was up.

“Not at all,” Jack started working on a small fire pit in the center. “Hey Jesse?”

“Hmm?”

“Sorry I was an ass earlier when you brought this whole trip up.”

“I was probably wrong to push you into comin’, but you've been, well, real upset. We've all noticed, so I figured it was worth a try.”

“Well, I appreciate it, really.” Jack turned to look over his shoulder at Jesse only to get sprayed in the face by a shot of water. He wiped his eyes and saw Hana and Lucio both standing at the edge of camp with their water guns.

“Lucio did it,” Hana declared, as Jack stood. She poked the top of Lucio’s head with a finger, then turned around and ran off.

“Hana!” He looked at Jack. “Sorry. It absolutely wasn't me.” He then shot Jack in the center of the chest. “But that one was.” He followed Hana towards the shore.

“Hey Jack,” he heard Ana say. She’d come up the path. “Catch.” She threw a filled water gun that looked like a rifle with a reservoir on top.

Jack caught it. Ana unslung the one she was carrying on her back and gave Jesse a nod. Jesse unholstered two squirt pistols, twirling them around on his index fingers. Jack couldn't help but wonder if this water fight was planned, but who was he to disappoint?

He went over to his backpack and grabbed his tactical visor, putting it on.

After he’d shucked off his boots Jack motioned to Jesse and Ana, “Let's move.” He activated his visor as he got closer to shoreline, wading into the water. “I've got you in my sights.”

“Hey you're cheating,” Hana exclaimed as Jack hit her forehead with a jet of water.

“You opened with a sneak attack. I'm only evening the score,” Jack said with a laugh, engaging in a water war with the others.

It helped to keep his mind off his troubles, even if it was for just a little while.

 

* * *

 

They'd called it quits after none of them were able to actually land a hit on Lena, who ended up being the last person standing. The rest of them had resigned to floating around on the water.

The afternoon was spent swimming, building castles in the sand, and sunbathing. Jesse made everyone hotdogs and beans for lunch, then agreed to get buried by Lucio and Hana.

Jack spent part of the afternoon helping to dig Jesse out before the tide rolled in.

When dusk came, Jack decided to take some time for himself, sitting on the end of that rock formation, bare feet dangling over the edge. The activities of the day had been a welcome distraction, but whenever he had a free moment, his thoughts would always wander back to Gabriel. He figured it was best to let them do so away from everyone else.

“You look like you could use a drink.”

Jack didn't turn around, focused on the waning warm hues in the sky, giving way to purples and deep blues that would soon succumb to black. “Did you bring one?”

“No,” Ana said. “Would you settle for a smore?”

Jack chuckled and patted the space beside him.

Ana sat down and offered him a plate with a smore, marshmallow and chocolate oozing over the edge of the graham cracker. He took it and nodded his thanks. Ana didn't say anything more, didn't push, just let him eat in silence.

“It's surreal being here again. Not that I'm putting down anyone's efforts… They were great, and I had fun today, but it's just empty without him. And that's all the time. It's like a part of me is missing, and I'm trying to fight it, to manage it, but I know I'll never get it back, and that reality kills me Ana. It kills me every day.” Jack swallowed back the guilt as best he could manage. “I know I fucked up. I left him. I hurt him. And I can't take any of it back no matter how much I want too, but I'd give anything to have him at my side.”

“We're not going to give up on him Jack.”

“I know.”

They'd run into Gabriel… Reaper several times in the past. Many such encounters were before they’d joined the new Overwatch. The last was still fresh, like a bleeding wound.

_“You keep chasing me Jack and you’ll end up regretting the ending,” Reaper said, voice a hollow echo of the man Jack once knew. He had a shotgun leveled at Jack's chest, keeping him at arm's length, but Jack wasn't about to back down._

_“It doesn't matter anymore, Gabriel, don't you see that? We'll deal with the things you've done,” he put a hand on the barrel, “with what we've all done.” Ana was behind him, her sniper rifle trained on Reaper's head, though they both knew that wouldn't matter. “Just stop whatever it is you're doing with Talon and come home.”_

_Jack received a rumble of a laugh that shook his bones, but outwardly he remained resolute. He had to show how serious he was; he would not falter in front of Gabriel._

_“Home?” he lowered his weapon, taking a few calculated steps toward Jack so their chests were touching. Jack had taken his visor off, but all he could see of Gabriel were the dark pits of the mask where his eyes should be. “Home died at Zurich. As did Gabriel Reyes.” A pause. “There is nothing to go back to.”_

_He remained, Reaper's visage locking him in an accusing stare before he vanished in a burst of smoke._

It wasn't until a few days later did he and Ana receive a message. When Jack saw it, he immediately knew who it was from and what it meant: _Seek me, and I'll always find you._

A promise between the two of them. No matter where they were, the other would always be there when needed.

At least that's what it had meant back before Gabriel had died, and Jack had left his body to a fate no one could have expected.

As much as he wanted to believe Gabriel had sent the message with his heart, the more Jack thought about it the more he settled on it being a threat.

The idea broke him.

“We’ll figure it out,” she assured.

Jack sighed heavily, “And what if he never wants to come back?” He felt the tears coming. He'd been able to hold back all day, but now…

Ana pulled him into a hug, keeping him safe from wandering eyes, protecting him, and Jack, with his face pressed into her shoulder, finally let it out.

 

* * *

 

Nightmares came for Jack that evening. Zürich. Engulfing fire. Gabriel becoming Reaper. All the same terrors (and had absolutely nothing to do with Lucio, Emily, and Hana telling ghost stories before they turned in), and without the alcohol he was left with no way to deal with them.

Jack poked his head out of his tent, eyeing Jesse's. Maybe he'd be in luck…

Ana had told everyone not to bring any alcohol, but Jesse almost had as bad of a drinking problem as Jack did. Sure enough, at the bottom of his pack, was an unopened bottle of maple whiskey. Jack nodded in thanks to the sleeping cowboy (whose hat was over his face and was snoring loudly) before sneaking out of his tent and into the woods to drink in peace.

“To you Gabe,” he popped the cap off and took a swig. “Wish you were here. Even if you hate me now…”

Jack wandered. And drank. He eventually lost track of his surroundings, having no idea how far away, or in what direction camp was, so he kept drinking until the bottle was gone. It took a lot for him to get drunk these days, but, at least he felt lighter. It was good enough.

He found an evergreen with branches that stuck up like prongs on a pitchfork and slumped down against its trunk, bottle clunking in the dirt beside him. Jack stared up at the canopy of layered branches, moonlight poking through the cracks.

His eyes started to close when the hoot of an owl drew his gaze. It was sitting in a nearby tree, staring at him.

“Figures it would be a barn owl,” he scoffed. “What do you want?”

“I ask myself that question a lot, and the answer never changes.”

Jack's head snapped to a dark space between two trees to be greeted by the image of Reaper's bone mask. He stepped into a patch of moonlight, and the mask seemed to glow.

His heart fluttered, beating loudly in his ears. “How did you find me?” Jack looked up at him.

Reaper chuckled darkly. “I always keep tabs on my enemies.”

 _Enemies._ It was almost enough to undo the effects of the whiskey.

“Though I didn't think you'd actually be coerced into coming back out to this place.” Reaper said, approaching Jack. His mask inclined toward the bottle. “Is that what you turn to nowadays?” The tone was concerned rather than the mocking one he'd suspected.

“Why would you care?” Jack said with more malice than intended. “We both know what it is you're here to do, especially now that you've got me without backup.”

Reaper just watched him in silence.

“Go ahead,” Jack dared. “Get on with it.”

“Do you really think I'm here to kill you?”

“Why else would you be?”

“It's the solstice, Jack. This may be the first time you've been out here in six years, but I've never missed one.”

Jack’s eyes widened.

“A lot of good memories in this place,” Reaper continued. Jack was surprised to hear it. “I need the grounding too, every once in awhile.”

“How much did you see?”

Reaper answered by extending a hand. Jack looked at it, then at the mask. He took a deep breath and cautiously accepted. Reaper pulled him to his feet. Jack was a little unsteady.

“Thanks,” he said, voice cracking. Jack didn’t understand why Reaper was there. Not after their last meeting. “What are we doing Gabriel?”

For the first time Jack could remember, he didn't deny the name, _his_ name. “Standing in the woods.” Gabriel folded his arms.

“You know what I mean jackass. Why are you with me? I thought you hated me?”

“I tried, believe me, but I can't. Never could. I'm still livid with you and what you did, what you made me into,” Jack could tell he was biting back his anger. Rightful anger. Even if Jack didn't directly transform Gabriel, his ignorance had killed him, and his negligence had made his husband a target. “But, I'm setting it aside for now. It's the solstice after all. It's tradition, _our_ tradition.”

“I…” Jack turned his back on Gabriel, biting back tears. “No. You don't get to do that. You don't get to say the things you said and just come back, especially not after you told me you wouldn't come home, _to me_.”

He felt heavy hands fall on his shoulders, and the sides of Gabriel’s thumb talons rubbed the muscle there. The touches made him turn back around, and without thinking he wrapped his arms around Gabriel’s armored torso and buried his face in the side of his neck. Slowly, he felt a hand rest between his shoulder blades, while the other went to the back of his head.

“Jack…”

“You said there was nothing to go back to.”

“There isn't, not like we remember. Home's been torn down, stripped away. Neither of us are the men we once were. We're wreckage.”

“We are, but home isn't gone, Gabriel. The foundations still exist, even if there's something unfamiliar built over top.”

He felt Gabriel’s hold tighten, and his head shifted so the mask nuzzled the side of Jack's head. “You're so sentimental.”

“You're the one who's never missed a year,” Jack muttered.

Gabriel chuckled. Jack felt the hand on his head slide away to press flat against his chest over the chain that held the dog tags and ring. “You still have these.”

Jack tried not to think about what Gabriel’s words implied, and, as if sensed, he spoke again, “Mine were stripped of me when I died. Haven’t found them.” He sounded sullen, and Jack could hear Gabriel say, _“But I want to.”_

His hand went over Gabriel’s. “I’ve always kept them close.”

“I know.”

Suddenly Gabriel turned to smoke and before Jack could cry out he felt a tug at his fingers. Tendrils of darkness were wrapped around them, urging him forward. Jack complied, though he was uncertain where Gabriel was taking him.

A part of Jack's brain told him to leave, to not trust him, but that thought was quickly stamped out by his heart.

He wove through trees, hoping Gabriel wouldn’t let him hit one, until the tendrils released him and he found himself standing on the edge of clearing. Before him was a field of grass that went up to his knees and Gabriel. Gabriel who stood a few feet in front of him, breeze rustling the tail of his coat, waiting. Jack smiled, recalling how he’d been brought him to this same place years before. It would be different this time.

Jack stepped forward, and offered his hand.

He watched Gabriel’s gauntlet’s disappear, the rich tones of his brown skin having faded, greyed, and in some places were completely black like the shadows that relentlessly rose off his form. His fingernails had all but merged with his flesh, the tips of which had become wicked claws.

Jack wanted to ask, needed to know because he was concerned for Gabriel’s well-being, but he knew that would be out of line. They weren’t together again, not like the used to be. There was too much between them, and he knew neither of them wanted to deal with any of it, not tonight, if at all.

For once, Jack let it go, instead focusing on Gabriel, who took Jack’s hand and reeled him in against his chest.

The two of them danced, spinning, twirling, waltzing around the tall grass, and as they did, their forms whipped up a storm of light. Fireflies rose in a haze, and Jack saw Gabriel’s shadows expand into a churning vortex, which collected the insects, surrounding them with their own personal night sky.

“This is better than the first time you brought me out here,” Jack noted. “I still...” he frowned at the impassive mask, “I’d like to be able to see you.”

“I can’t Jack,” Gabriel replied after a moment. “I’m not ready. Ana wasn’t meant to see either. It was an error.”

“Is that why you ran?”

Gabriel didn’t say anything.

“Sorry,” Jack said.

“It’s fine.”

They continued their dance in slow moving circles around the field, stirring up more fireflies that quickly joined the growing vortex. Jack sighed and leaned his forehead against the nose of Gabriel’s mask. He couldn’t feel Gabriel breathing: a thought he had to try to ignore. He  closed his eyes.

“You’re thinking,” Gabriel said.

“Impossible not to?” Jack tried to smile. “You’re here but this isn’t…” He shook his head.

“Right?” Gabriel supplied.

“Yes.”

“Won’t be for a while.”

“Why not?” It was the depression talking, maybe some of the whiskey, having overruled his sense of logic. “I know you, Gabe, and Talon isn’t where you belong.”

Gabriel stopped their dance. The shadow vortex exploded, fireflies scattering. Jack pulled his head back, expecting to see red points of light illuminating the pits of Gabriel’s mask, but instead, the mask was angled down. “I’ve reached the point of no return, Jack,” he said quietly.

 _Of course…_ It was a phrase Gabriel used in Blackwatch when someone undercover could no longer be safely retrieved.

“I can’t tell you anything else,” Gabriel went on, “and it’s best you don’t know, but when I see you on the field next, where eyes are watching, don’t hesitate to shoot at me. I’ll do the same for you.”

Jack could only nod.

“Earlier you’d asked the owl a question.” Gabriel’s clawed finger came to rest beneath Jack’s chin.

Jack recalled it with clarity, “‘What do you want?’”

“And what did I say?”

“That you kept coming up with the same answer.”

“Mhm,” Gabriel tipped his mask up, and Jack got a glimpse of sharp teeth and skin that seemed to shift and crawl as if it were alive before lips fully formed, and he leaned forward to press them into Jack’s.

Gabriel was warm, hot even, but Jack didn’t question it, instead deepening the kiss as if he were starving for air. He’d missed this. He’d missed Gabriel. His chest ached, and he dug his fingers into the leather of Gabriel’s coat, trying desperately to somehow bring him closer, meld with him if possible.

Jack only stopped when he did actually need to breath.

Gabriel quickly put his mask back in place. “In case it was unclear,” Gabriel said. “The answer’s always been you.”

They held on to each other, Jack’s arms tightly around Gabriel’s waist, and resumed their dance. He felt Gabriel’s claws gripping his back, a cool breeze caressing the top of his head. There wasn’t a place in the world he’d rather be.

“Sentimental,” Jack muttered against Gabriel’s neck.

“Guess I picked it up from you.”

“Gabe.”

“Hm?”

“Will you come back to me one day?”

“I can’t guarantee that.”

While the reply stung, Jack knew it wasn’t supposed to be personal. There was too much that could happen to Gabriel, or to Jack. So, instead he asked, “Can we do this again tomorrow night?”

“It’s better than being out here alone,” Gabriel replied. The wind rustled through the tall grass as they swayed in the middle of the field, fireflies still abound, lurking on the blades. “Seek me, and I’ll find you Jack. Always.”

“Always,” Jack repeated, letting Gabriel know he’d do the same.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> *undercover spy music plays* I'm totally for Gabe taking down Talon from the inside. Try and stop me.
> 
> I love seeing these two dance together. This was for the Reaper76 Summer Event. Thanks to Tatch and Andro for beta reading.
> 
> http://kerrigore.tumblr.com
> 
> (Also, my friend who's been to the area in the fic told me there are no fireflies. Well there are now. :D They wanted to live there after the Crisis).


End file.
